A Precious Moment

I love kids.  I always have.  When I was a little girl in grade school we had to dress up for career day.  My friends dressed up as nurses, doctors, firefighters, dancers, astronauts, zookeepers—all kinds of exciting things.  But I didn’t want to be any of those.  I already knew what I wanted to be when I grew up: a wife and a mother.  I still want that.  It’s a life full of fun and excitement, challenges, passion, giving, and unconditional love, and I want it more than anything else in the world. 

Until I do get married and am a mother to my own children I’ve picked a career path that will have me surrounded by kids—I’m so excited for it!  I also have a few friends who are mothers so whenever I get to see them I get to be with their sons and daughters and I love that too.  Children warm my heart and I can’t imagine not having them in my life.  Since I’m around kids so often I’m sure I’ll have a few blog posts that describe my moments with them…and here’s my first.

Yesterday was Good Friday.  To honor the day my family and I do not have work, but instead of sleeping in that morning I went to school to meet with my Old English professor about my term paper.  As I walked into his office I looked around and grinned to myself.  Like my bookshelves at home his are also lined with toys—but his toys are knights in shining armor riding on horses.  You know you’re in good company when your professor keeps things like this in his office.  Anyway, as I was waiting for him to finish his phone conversation, I heard the clip-clop of little booted feet coming down the hall.  I peeked around the corner of one of the bookcases to see who was outside and it was one of my friends from class with her four-year-old son.  He is seriously the sweetest little boy I have ever spent time with—and he was wearing the red boots from his Halloween costume!  Of course that made me smile even more and I knelt down to give him a hug.  We all three talked outside in the hall until our professor finished his phone call then he ushered us inside. 

My friend told us that her son wanted to meet our professor and so, clutching his mom’s hand, he shyly introduced himself.  Our professor grinned and then introduced himself, asking: “Do you like to play with toys?”  The little boy nodded, “Yes.”  And our professor said, “Me too.  But you know what’s sad?  I really don’t have much time to play anymore because I’m so busy.”  He got up from his chair and picked up from the top of his bookcase one of the knights in shining armor.  “This is one of my favorite toys that I don’t have time to play with anymore.  I want you to play with it for me.  And you know what?  This knight doesn’t even have a name yet so you get to name him.”  Then he gave the toy to the boy, whose eyes were so full of pure wonder and happiness that it made my heart ache a little bit.  It was so sweet to see our professor connect with my friend’s son in this way and it seriously was the highlight of my whole day and one of the best moments of the semester.  Even now when I think about it I smile.

Children find pure happiness in the simplest of things and this is part of the reason why I love being around them so much.  Their precious happiness and delight is infectious and it warms my heart and makes me just as happy.  Really, what’s not to love?

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"The whole world's on fire, isn't it?"...

…says Cora Munro to her lover Nathaniel in The Last of the Mohicans.  The movie’s powerful theme crescendos in the background, overriding the canon blasts, musket shots and screams of the wounded and dying.  They hold on tight to one another through the bars of the prison cell, Cora pressing her face against Nathaniel’s shoulder as he grasps the back of her neck, tangling his fingers in her dark hair.  The blazing fire outside the fort lights their faces in an orange glow.

This is one of the many quotes—and scenes—of this movie that sends shivers down my spine.  I love The Last of the Mohicans (the theatrical cut, not the director’s cut.  There is a difference, I promise you).  The writing is wonderful.  The directing is well done.  The scenery is beautiful.  The acting is superb.  The music is gorgeous.  I actually grew up with its beautiful soundtrack.  Some of my earliest memories as a child are of being in the car with my mom and listening to the soundtrack on cassette tape.  When I was in middle school I finally watched Mohicans with my parents and instantly fell in love with Nathaniel, Cora, Uncas, Alice, Chingachgook and even Duncan.  I watched with bated breath as the romance between Cora and Nathaniel slowly unfolded (yes, I was even a romantic then!)—and I still watch with bated breath as if I’m watching it for the first time all over again.  I’m the kind of romantic who appreciates the conversation between the man and the woman and how that is far more important than anything physical that happens between them.  I also love when the meaningful looks the lovers share are so charged with raw emotion that they are more significant than a kiss.  This is the kind of romance that exists between Nathaniel and Cora.  Later on in the movie they do kiss, but that is all they do—the physical never overshadows their true love for each other. 

Mohicans is the type of movie that is becoming rarer in today’s world: it promotes the love of freedom, and liberty from tyranny; it promotes intellectual and true love over physical lust; it promotes doing what is right over what is easy; and it promotes morality, strength, courage, honor, selflessness, quiet dignity and integrity in man’s actions.  Nathaniel is the kind of man I’m very much attracted to.  I know he’s a fictional character but the rules of honor and integrity and strength he lives by are not fabricated, and I know that there are men out there who do embody those qualities I admire and want in a husband.  Nathaniel’s love for Cora really does take my breath away when I’m watching the movie.  He respects her as much as she respects him and it is from this respect that their love grows and deepens.  It’s truly beautiful to watch.

My family and I watched Mohicans earlier this evening.  It’s one of the only movies that I will lay still and watch all the way through without getting up for any reason.  I won’t even talk during it because any disruption ruins the poignancy of each scene—especially the last 10 minutes of the movie.  That last scene is one of the most powerful of any movie I’ve ever seen.  I don’t think I even breathe during it—those of you who have seen it know why.  For those of you who haven't seen it, it is sort of like Gladiator.  It has that power that keeps you captivated until the very end.  And just like Gladiator, you can’t just get up and leave when it's over—you have to stay and silently watch the credits and appreciate the beautiful music and the feelings the movie leaves you with.  Tonight was no different for us.  After the movie ended and the credits started rolling, my family and I were quiet for a long while, silently watching the credits and listening to the music and allowing our thoughts to linger on the feelings this movie provokes in each of us.

If you haven’t seen this movie you really should watch it—but make sure it’s the theatrical version, not the director’s cut.  You won’t regret it, I promise.

<3 

LOST

The almost-tropical weather we have been having today—blue skies and bright sunshine instantly turning into dark clouds and rain—reminded me of something I’ve really been missing this Spring: LOST.  

Yes, the TV show. 

I’m not sure if I can call myself a Lostie like I call myself a Phile (a hardcore X-Files fan) but I love LOST.  Back in 2005, Grandma asked me if I was watching “this new show called LOST.”  I admitted that I hadn’t seen any of the episodes but I’d heard great things.  I remember her saying to me, “Oh, Dana!  It’s really good!  You should give it a shot.”  Seeing as how I’m always open to watching all kinds of shows, and knowing that this show was acclaimed for its deep character development and its elements of mystery and science fiction (everything that I enjoy!), I decided to follow her advice and get into it.  So for my birthday that summer I asked for LOST Season 1.  On that warm summer night in late August my family and I settled down in the den to watch it and we didn’t (couldn’t!) stop that night until we finished disc one. 

I was floored by how addicting the show was.  I just couldn’t get enough!  After finishing Season 1 on DVD, my mom, dad, brother and I began watching it religiously together on live TV.  I fell in love with the characters: from the reluctant but strong leader Jack to the ambiguous Kate to the bad boy Sawyer to the sadistic Other Ben to the Other-turned-good Juliet—all of them.  The flashbacks of these characters’ lives before the plane crash became just as important as the current trekking-through-the-jungle-avoiding-monsters-death-and-the-mysterious-Others-while-desparately-searching-for-a-way-off-the-Island plotline.  Each episode focuses on one of the characters.  Their flashbacks and the current Island plotline are woven together with a themed symbolism and purpose that I find innovative and provocative.  The characters of LOST are not one-dimensional.  Each flashback (and in later seasons, each flashforward) and action they take in the Island plotline adds layer after layer after layer to their personalities, making them real people who are good and flawed, who have loved and suffered, who have gained and lost.  They are not black and white—they are shades of grey.  I think that is definitely part of the reason why I fell in love with all of them and why everyone who loves the show can relate to them—because we are all shades of grey.

LOST is a show that is character-driven which is the number one reason why I love it so.  But I love it for its mysteries too, both explained and unexplained.  I mean, smoke monsters?  Ghosts?  Polar bears roaming around the jungle?  Miracles?  Immortality?  Time travel?  You can’t get much better than that!  I also love it for its complicated storylines that took me on a whirlwind of a wild ride.  It’s definitely not a fluff show.  To quote my professor, it is a “thinky thing” because it challenges your perceptions.  It didn’t really irk me that not everything was explained by the series finale.  I felt that the way it ended, with unraveling threads and loose ends, was fitting for a show that was renowned for its ambiguity. 

This is my first Spring since 2006 without LOST to look forward to every week and I really do miss it.  I miss the feeling of excitement that used to come over me when it was 15 minutes til 9:00.  I miss settling down on the sofa with my family around me, chatting about the last episode and theorizing about the mysteries unexplained.  I miss talking to my friends about each week’s episode, exclaiming over the events that occurred and wondering what in the world was going to happen next.  I’ve missed LOST so much that my family and I have started the series over again since we own the seasons on DVD.  I love revisiting all the characters and reliving their stories with them.  Even though I know what is going to happen next, I still find myself biting my lower lip nervously, clutching my blanket to my chest, sometimes groaning and snarling at the TV, and, yes, sometimes wiping away a tear or two—it’s a sign of an excellent show.

There will never be another show like LOST.  Never.  I count myself fortunate to have, in a way, grown up with it.  If you haven’t watched it I recommend that you, to quote my Grandma, “give it a shot.”

<3

Drawing

This Spring Vacation has just flown by for me this year!  I worked 40 hours last week and when I wasn’t working I was exercising, baking, seeing my girlfriends or resting and going to bed early to get the sleep I needed.  But I did get to do something I haven’t been able to sit down and devote hours to in a long time—I got to draw  :)

My friend Katrina commissioned me to draw a picture of her with her boyfriend Tu and I immediately accepted because she’s such a sweet friend  :)  It was definitely a challenging picture to draw for a lot of reasons—not to mention I was a little rusty!  The only drawings I have done since the Fall of 2010 have been quick ballpoint pen sketches.  The last drawing I completed with graphite pencils was one of Mulder and Scully for the heART for Charity project (http://heart.keyofx.org/) last summer.  I began working on this graphite pencil drawing of Kat and Tu last week when Spring Vacation started.  Last night I finished working on Kat’s face and hair and then moved on to Tu’s face.  For some reason he was particularly hard for me to capture.  I had a lot of trouble with his eyes, and for me, if the eyes of a portrait aren’t right, the whole portrait won’t work.  The eyes are the windows to a person’s soul—I always have to get them right!  I was pretty frustrated last night because I just couldn’t get Tu’s expression correct so I ended up putting everything aside, telling myself not to force something that wasn’t coming naturally.  I’d try again in a day or two.  Before I fell asleep that night I prayed to God for Him to help me get the drawing right.

My goal had been to finish the drawing before school started again and I knew I had to devote most of Sunday to all the homework I had due.  However, I opened my WIP folder this morning and stared at the half-completed drawing, studying Tu in the reference photo and then studying my version of him.  And then the inspiration came over me and I knew what I had to do to get his eyes right.  I have learned that when inspiration strikes like that I can’t ignore it—that’s when the magic can happen.  So I pulled out my pencils and began working on the drawing again and didn’t stop for two whole hours.  I fixed Tu’s eyes, put the finishing touches of shading on his face and Kat’s, worked on the background, signed and dated it, and then called it finished  :)  Considering how challenging this drawing was I feel that it came out quite well and I think Kat’ll be happy with it.

I love drawing.  I’ve been doing it since I could hold a pencil.  When I was a little girl, I’d draw only animals, mainly horses, cats, birds and characters from Disney’s The Lion King.  As I got older I began to draw fantasy creatures.  In my freshman year of high school I began to dabble in drawing fairies.  In my sophomore year I finally began drawing realistic people.  My first photorealism portrait was of Galadriel and Frodo from LOTR: The Fellowship of the Ring.  Now, six years later, I can draw pretty much anything and anyone just as long as I have a reference photo to go off of. 

Drawing relaxes me.  It’s a way for me to explore my creative side.  When I draw I turn on some music—usually New Age stuff, like Enya, Loreena McKennitt or Amethystium.  I love all kinds of music but I find this kind of music the best for drawing.  It’s beautiful, it’s soothing and it isn’t distracting.  I’ve tried to draw to classical music before and it just isn’t the same.  I don’t like it as much.  I think I like New Age better because the songs remind me of Irish mythology, folklore, and the other fantasy worlds I tend to escape to when I read.  As I focus in on the details of a portrait, I let my mind drift on the various celtic-flavored, mystical melodies of the songs, allowing my thoughts to fly along with the soaring and dipping sopranos of the women singing.  Time passes me by when I’m listening to these beautiful songs and drawing.  Now, if only time would fly by just as quickly when I’m at school or work…  ;)

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