AVATAR

Yes, the James Cameron movie.  Yes, the movie that’s Fern Gully: The Last Rainforest meets Thundercats meets Pocahontas meets Dances with Wolves.  I freely admit that the storyline isn’t that original and at times seems rather contrived.  But, my friends, I love this movie.  Yes, I really do. 

I rewatched AVATAR again recently and every time I see it I fall more and more in love with it.  The characters have grown on me.  I love Jake and Neytiri’s relationship and how it evolves from distrust to acceptance, trust, and love.  I didn’t really come to appreciate Jake’s personal journey until recently, and I admire the writers’ ability to hint at Jake’s internal conflicts subtly and to not insult our intelligence by having long, drawn-out scenes of his agonizing over what he should and shouldn’t do.  In fact, I think if the storyline had been more complex, it would have bogged down the movie.  Cameron was already trying to introduce us to a complex world with complex rules, creatures and peoples, and to have a complex plot on top of all of that would have been too much for the average audience.

Not only do I enjoy the storyline itself, but the artist in me swoons (seriously, ha!) every time the forest lights up at night.  I remember when I was at the midnight premier, sitting there beside my friends with my 3-D glasses on, completely immersed in the word of Pandora, I literally gasped—as did the rest of the audience—when we saw the bioluminescent forest for the first time.  I still stare in wonder at the radiant beauty of it, at the shades of vibrant blues and greens and lurid purples and oranges of the foliage, of the creatures (especially the dragons) and of the alien people themselves.  

Yeah, they kind of look like Thundercats, but they are gorgeous in their alien way, with their huge golden eyes, long, thick black hair, their slender bodies and lyrical language.  I wouldn’t mind being one of them for a day or two, running along tree branches bigger than anything I’ve ever seen, flying on dragons amid floating mountains, being able to bond and communicate with all life on Pandora.  Cameron’s Pandora is incredible and to see such amazing detail come to life makes me believe that there has to be a world out there like it.  I’ve always believed that if we can imagine it, it has to exist somewhere in the universe, and so I want to believe that something like Pandora is out there among the distant stars.

Needless to say, I’m excited about the sequels that will be released in the next few years.  (Yes, I’ll be at the midnight premiers.)  Cameron has already said he wants to explore the oceans of Pandora…I can’t even imagine what they will be like—they’ll probably be just as exotically beautiful as the bioluminescent rainforest we were introduced to in the first movie.  

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"Never Give Up Hope"

I just wanted to share my newest graphite pencil portrait "Never Give Up Hope" featuring Laura Roslin and William Adama from Battlestar Galactica.

This portrait is from the final scene of the episode Resurrection Ship....


Laura Roslin: Congratulations, Admiral Adama.
William Adama: Thank you, Madam President. I, umm, never gave up hope, I just...stopped trying to get these a long time ago.
Laura Roslin: Just goes to show you, Bill. Never give up hope.
William Adama: Same goes for you, Laura. 
(Bill kisses Laura)

"Never Give Up Hope"
Laura Roslin and William Adama from Battlestar Galactica
Graphite pencils
10 hours

Ever since completing my degree I've dived back into the series for the second time and there is so much more I'm picking up on...all the subtleties of the characters and their relationships with each other--especially those of Roslin and Adama's relationship.  Even though I know what's happening this time around, this couple still moves me to tears.  They don't even need to say anything to each other; sometimes the looks they share or a small touches they give each other here and there is enough for the tears to well up.

In this portrait I wanted to capture their chemistry and the specific poignant moment between them but I also wanted to somehow capture the love I have for them on paper.  I did this by paying close attention to detail, like the curve of Roslin's nose against his, each scar and pucker of Adama's cheek, how his fingers hold her chin firmly enough for her skin to wrinkle a little, the small smiles that play on their lips.

God, I love this show.

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"The Jackals In Their Dens Tremble At Her Approach"

“Come on, Grandma!  Let’s play dress-up!”  So I used to say to my grandma as I breezed past her after lunch, galloping up the stairs as fast as my little legs would go.  Then I would burst into my mom’s old room and make a beeline to the wooden cabinet where my grandma kept a lot of her costume and fine jewelry.  I would sit next to her on the floor and together we would go through each drawer.  Soon we were both bedecked in amethyst rings, turquoise necklaces, and silver and gold bracelets.  I remember on one of these dress-up days Grandma pulled out a white box I had never seen before and I peered down eagerly, wondering what sparkling treasure would be nestled inside.

It was a huge lion’s claw.  The top of it was set in heavy gold and it hung from a long, thick golden chain. 

I remember my jaw dropping and Grandma tells me that my eyes got so big as I stared in wonder at it.  “Is it real, Grandma?”  At her affirmative, I asked if I could hold it.  She let me, and I ran my fingers carefully over the smooth surface, carefully touching the sharp tip.  “It’s your grandpa’s,” she told me.  I loved it.  I have always loved furs, naturalistic jewelry, precious stones and rocks, fossils, and claws and teeth of all different kinds of animals—even at that young of an age my imagination was captivated.

Later that afternoon I asked Grandpa if he would tell me the story of how he got the lion’s claw necklace, and here it is: When Grandpa was a young man he and a few other men went to Africa to hunt the dangerous animals that were overpopulating the areas where people lived.  “These animals, Dana,” he told me, “are not like they portray on television.  It’s like they are completely different species from what you’ve seen on TV or at the zoo.  When you encounter them in the jungle, like I have, and you look in their eyes you can feel their wildness.  They are primitive, feral.”  The claw came from the paw of the male lion that my grandpa killed.  When he came back to America, he had the claws turned into necklaces.  The one I had seen upstairs was the biggest of the bunch.

After that day, every time I played dress-up with my grandma, I would look for the lion’s claw and hold it for a while before putting it lovingly back in its box.  And even though it has been years since I have played dress-up, I have never forgotten the lion’s claw necklace.  A couple days ago during the family’s Christmas dinner party, Grandpa, Grandma and I were sitting together in the living room, chatting and laughing about all kinds of things.  Then my cousin Max came in to show us what Santa brought him for Christmas: a rifle.  It was so cool, and as I watched Grandpa hold it, I asked him to tell us again about his hunting trip in Africa (it had been many, many years since I had last heard the story).  “I remember the lion’s claw necklace, Grandpa,” I told him once he was finished.  “I remember how I used to hold it and look at it all the time when I was little.  It captured my imagination.  Maybe it’s the barbarian in me,” I laughed, “but I love that lion’s claw necklace.  It’s really awesome.”

I have a very special relationship with my grandparents.  We deeply understand each other and saying that we are best friends and kindred spirits doesn’t quite fully explain the profound and loving relationship we have.  Being the beautiful, generous souls that they are, my grandparents wanted to take me out to my favorite restaurant, PF Chang’s, for a celebratory lunch in honor of my completed MA degree and student teaching (my mom came too, which was really nice!).  When we were all seated, Grandma pulled a small box wrapped in golden paper with a shiny gold bow out of her purse and gave it to Grandpa.  Then he reached across the table to place it in my hands, saying, “Here’s an old Moroccan Proverb that suits you now that you’ve accomplished so much and will continue to do so: ‘The lions in their dens tremble at h[er] approach.’”  I grinned and in my mind, I thought, No way.  Not quite daring to believe, I carefully unwrapped the box, opened it, and there nestled inside was the lion’s claw necklace I’d loved for so many years.  I remember exclaiming and looking up at them, fingers tracing the familiar smoothness and sharp tip.  “We wanted you to have this, Dana,” Grandma said.  Gratitude welled up in my heart because the necklace represents so much to me and I thanked them both.  Grandpa smiled and asked, “Do you want to wear that now?”  “Of course!” I replied, clasping it securely around my neck.  Then Grandpa said, “Maybe this is more fitting for you: ‘The jackals in their dens tremble at her (the lioness’s) approach’—the lioness is you!”  “I like that, Grandpa,” I laughed, pressing the claw against my heart.  “I am a Leo, after all!” 

I couldn’t stop fingering the lion’s claw necklace—now my lion’s claw necklace—as my mom and I drove home.  I was so happy and so appreciative and so aware of their pride in me and their love for me that I began to cry.  The lion’s claw necklace is so much more than just a necklace: it symbolizes my grandparents’ strength, their courage, their generosity, and their love.  I haven’t taken the necklace off all day.  And whenever I wear it in the future I will always think of them.

Me and my lion's claw necklace.  Maybe I should think of a name for it!

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Finis

“Hi, is this Doris?”

“Yes it is.”

“Oh hi, it’s Dana.  I forgot if I was supposed to call you today or tomorrow for the Comps scores.”

“Oh, well I have them right here in front of me, if you want to know…”

*deep breath*  “Sure!  Let’s hear it.”

“Let’s see…  Dana…  You got a pass.”

“I passed?”

“You passed!”

“I passed!”

Me and Molly right after taking the Comps
We both passed!

Well, my friends, after 19 years, I’m finally done with school!  This semester I have completed the English Literature Masters Program by finishing up my last class (hooray for Beowulf!) and by passing the Comps exam with my dear friend Molly by my side; and at the same time I have also completed the Multiple Subject Credential Program for teaching grades K-8.  To all those who think that you can’t complete both programs at the same time: you can.  If you have the will, the patience to apply yourself, and a positive attitude, you can.  I have.  But it certainly wasn’t a cake walk.  I worked very hard for the last two and a half years.  This last semester was perhaps the hardest I have ever worked.  I didn’t draw and I didn’t read for fun and I didn’t have a social life outside my one masters class and student teaching.  I lived in my own world of constant lesson planning, teaching, TPA3 and TPA4 preparation and writing, Beowulf-reading and essay writing, and Comps exam preparation.  The week before Thanksgiving was the week where I began sprinting toward the end of the semester because all TPAs and essays were due and the Comps test date was looming—and I made it!  So it’s possible, guys.  I’m living proof!  I want to thank all of those who have supported and encouraged me through this final semester: God, my dear family, my master teachers Donna and Vickie, my professors Dr. van Elk, Ilan, and Mimi, my dearest friends (you all know exactly who you are :D), and my awesome student teacher girls Kasey, Kari and Jenny.  I couldn’t have done it without all of you—thank you!

Me and Donna

I’ve grown up so much in this last year, and especially in this last semester.  I’ve discovered new strengths I didn’t even know I had until I was taking charge of 30 first graders and 33 sixth graders.  And I’ve discovered that I really love teaching—especially the little ones.  Before I started student teaching I wasn’t sure if I would even like teaching.  I remember being so nervous about embarking on this journey that I didn’t sleep much my last weekend of summer vacation because I was fretting so.  It turns out that all the anxiety I felt was unnecessary.  My experiences in both primary grade and upper grade were wonderful.  I love both my master teachers.  I love the kids.  I love the school environment.  I love teaching.  The principal of the last elementary school I was at has given me paperwork to become a sub for the district and I am well on my way to making my subbing license official (as are the rest of my student teacher friends who completed this amazing journey with me)! 

Jenny, Kasey, Phoenix, Vickie, Me, Michelle and Kari

So what’s next for me now that I’m done with school?  Well, getting my subbing license is first on the list.  Passing the RICA is next.  Then getting a full-time job with (hopefully!) a primary grade.  But until then?  Right now I’m basking in the glow of knowing that I’m done with school.  I’m really enjoying Christmas vacation (I’ve just finished decorating the Christmas tree!  I wound over 1,500 lights within the branches and lovingly nestled all my favorite ornaments in perfect places while I sang along to Celine Dion’s Christmas album).  I’ve been mentally and physically resting.  I’ll be getting back to exercising and eating more healthy.  I’m working on commissions and I’ll finally be drawing for myself again.  I’ll be reading novels that are on the “Once I’m Done With School” list.  I’ll be hanging out with my friends.  I’ll be going to work at my family’s company and I’ll be thanking God every day that I have a job. 

One phase of my life is over and a new one is just beginning.  Every time I think about the future ahead of me I get so excited.  Bring it, world!  :)

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Happiness

Even though I’m stressing about so many things right now I’m trying to take the time to find happiness in every part of my day and acknowledge consciously that I’m happy—and honestly it hasn’t been that hard!  I’m loving what I’m doing with my life right now.  Being a student teacher is so much fun!  It’s a lot of work, yes, but it’s one of the most rewarding experiences of my life.  I love the kids, both the first and sixth graders, and my master teachers.  They all make me smile and laugh every single day.

When I was with my first grade class their sweetness, “love notes” (little mementos they drew or wrote to me…I have a huge pile!), hugs and stories brightened my days.  I even got a written marriage proposal from one of them—my first marriage proposal ever!—and I quote: “Will you mere me.  Can we have a date.”  And he drew a house with me and him together in it.  It was so sweet.  I received it on my last day and the boy who gave it to me didn’t put his name on it, but I remember thinking to myself that I had never gotten a "love note" from this boy before.  I wish he had written his name!  My last day with my first graders was perhaps one of the brightest days in my student teaching experience.  It was bittersweet, of course, but so many good things happened that day: my master teacher and I had our traditional Starbucks together, we gave each other gifts (she gave me a framed picture of us together with our first graders), there was a feast of autumnal goodies put together by all the master teachers since we student teachers were leaving, I was given presents and more love notes from my kids, and they were all especially wonderful the entire day.  Earlier that week I had made up little parting gifts to give to each of them (one Disney pencil and pen per student tied together with curly yellow ribbon, an Achievement Certificate: the Outstanding Scientist Award, personalized for each student and signed by me, and I also gave each of them a really cool holographic African animal sticker, or “scientist badge,” made by National Geographic to wear the entire day).  As I called up each student to give them their present and award, I got hugs from them all, including the boys who tended to be so shy!  Not only did I get hugs, I got “I don’t want you to go” “I’m going to miss you” and “I love you” from everyone.  I had the biggest lump in my throat but I was able to hold it together fairly well (my master teacher and I had already cried twice that day, so I was trying to keep the threatening tears back as best as I could) but once the bell rang for dismissal and all my kids surrounded me, hugging me so tightly that I couldn’t move, I completely broke down and cried.  I reassured them that I was okay, that I was crying just because I was going to miss them so much!  And in response they hugged me all the harder.  I promised them I’d come back and see them as often as I could—and I will!  Even though it was a sad day, it was also one of the brightest and happiest days, if that makes any sense at all. 

I haven’t had as much time yet with the sixth grade class I’m in but I’m starting to get to know the kids better day by day—and they’re growing on me, for sure!  I really like them.  They’re at that age when their senses of humor are starting to come out and they have me smiling and laughing all the time!  When I look at them, I see myself in them—the kid in me.  I love it when they find any excuse to get me to talk to them.  They’ll raise their hands, ask a question, and then make a comment, which of course turns into a conversation…one that I usually have to cut short, but I love that they do it!  I remember doing the exact same thing to my teachers (whom I loved!) when I was in sixth grade and to see that they’re pulling the same stuff I did when I was little to show me that they like me really makes me happy. 

I’m learning so much about how to be a successful teacher and I’m learning all over the place: in the classroom, in the lounge, in parent-teacher conferences, in staff and grade-level meetings and in talks with both my master teachers.  These two women inspire me, and I mean that with all my heart.  It’s hard to explain why they inspire me…but I’m going to try to put it into words…  They’re witty, clever, intelligent, funny, honest, genuine, caring, appreciative, supportive, encouraging, positive, multi-talented and open-minded.  They’re great story-tellers.  They give me really awesome advice, and not just about teaching but they also offer it to me in other aspects of life.  They make me smile and laugh and I’m really happy when I’m around them.  There is no doubt in my mind that God had His hand in placing me with them at this point in my life and I’m blessed to know them.

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"The whole world's on fire, isn't it?"...

…says Cora Munro to her lover Nathaniel in The Last of the Mohicans.  The movie’s powerful theme crescendos in the background, overriding the canon blasts, musket shots and screams of the wounded and dying.  They hold on tight to one another through the bars of the prison cell, Cora pressing her face against Nathaniel’s shoulder as he grasps the back of her neck, tangling his fingers in her dark hair.  The blazing fire outside the fort lights their faces in an orange glow.

This is one of the many quotes—and scenes—of this movie that sends shivers down my spine.  I love The Last of the Mohicans (the theatrical cut, not the director’s cut.  There is a difference, I promise you).  The writing is wonderful.  The directing is well done.  The scenery is beautiful.  The acting is superb.  The music is gorgeous.  I actually grew up with its beautiful soundtrack.  Some of my earliest memories as a child are of being in the car with my mom and listening to the soundtrack on cassette tape.  When I was in middle school I finally watched Mohicans with my parents and instantly fell in love with Nathaniel, Cora, Uncas, Alice, Chingachgook and even Duncan.  I watched with bated breath as the romance between Cora and Nathaniel slowly unfolded (yes, I was even a romantic then!)—and I still watch with bated breath as if I’m watching it for the first time all over again.  I’m the kind of romantic who appreciates the conversation between the man and the woman and how that is far more important than anything physical that happens between them.  I also love when the meaningful looks the lovers share are so charged with raw emotion that they are more significant than a kiss.  This is the kind of romance that exists between Nathaniel and Cora.  Later on in the movie they do kiss, but that is all they do—the physical never overshadows their true love for each other. 

Mohicans is the type of movie that is becoming rarer in today’s world: it promotes the love of freedom, and liberty from tyranny; it promotes intellectual and true love over physical lust; it promotes doing what is right over what is easy; and it promotes morality, strength, courage, honor, selflessness, quiet dignity and integrity in man’s actions.  Nathaniel is the kind of man I’m very much attracted to.  I know he’s a fictional character but the rules of honor and integrity and strength he lives by are not fabricated, and I know that there are men out there who do embody those qualities I admire and want in a husband.  Nathaniel’s love for Cora really does take my breath away when I’m watching the movie.  He respects her as much as she respects him and it is from this respect that their love grows and deepens.  It’s truly beautiful to watch.

My family and I watched Mohicans earlier this evening.  It’s one of the only movies that I will lay still and watch all the way through without getting up for any reason.  I won’t even talk during it because any disruption ruins the poignancy of each scene—especially the last 10 minutes of the movie.  That last scene is one of the most powerful of any movie I’ve ever seen.  I don’t think I even breathe during it—those of you who have seen it know why.  For those of you who haven't seen it, it is sort of like Gladiator.  It has that power that keeps you captivated until the very end.  And just like Gladiator, you can’t just get up and leave when it's over—you have to stay and silently watch the credits and appreciate the beautiful music and the feelings the movie leaves you with.  Tonight was no different for us.  After the movie ended and the credits started rolling, my family and I were quiet for a long while, silently watching the credits and listening to the music and allowing our thoughts to linger on the feelings this movie provokes in each of us.

If you haven’t seen this movie you really should watch it—but make sure it’s the theatrical version, not the director’s cut.  You won’t regret it, I promise.

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