Gone, Yet Still With Me

Anne McCaffrey, one of my very favorite authors, passed away back in November.  When my brother told me the news, I remember tears filling my eyes—I couldn’t believe that she was no longer with us, writing her incredible tales.  She really was—and is—the Queen of Science Fiction.  Anne has transformed the SciFi genre into something completely new and exciting by creating worlds and characters that both men and women can relate to and love as if they are real places and people.

When I was in seventh grade, Grandpa bought me Anne’s Dragonflight, the first novel in her Dragonriders of Pern series.  I was instantly captivated by the cover which depicts a huge, golden dragon soaring across a vibrant green sky with a glowing red planet seemingly pulsing in the background.  I remember wondering who the dragon and the young woman riding it were so I eagerly turned to the first page and was instantly transported to a world unlike any other I had ever visited before:

A lush and beautiful world called Pern where gold, bronze, brown, blue and green dragons live in rapport with the women and men they bond with.  I had never read a story before where dragons, when they are born, choose a man or woman to be theirs, and once they have chosen, their minds are so profoundly linked with their humans’ that they can communicate mentally with them and feel everything the other feels.  And when the female dragons (gold and green) rise to mate with the males (bronze, brown and blue)…well, let me tell you (one romantic to another) it gets pretty darn steamy since their humans are linked mentally with them down on the ground, experiencing what they are experiencing…it’s enough to make me blush.  The Pernese men and women and their dragons share and experience everything together.  It’s like they are two halves of one soul, or two souls made one—one cannot live without the other once the bond is made at the dragon’s birth, and once the bond is made, it cannot be undone.  I had never read a story before where the dragons are always the “good guys,” battling a constant threat in the form of deadly spores that rain down from the sky—silvery, deadly spores that burn and absorb anything organic they touch, turning vegetation to barren wastelands—by using their ability to breathe fire, searing them from the sky before they can reach the ground.  I had never read a story before where dragons could teleport not just between places but between times as well (yes, I said time travel).  I had never read a story before that combined elements of both fantasy and science fiction so effortlessly that it created an entirely new genre of its own.  And, come to think of it, I had never read a story before where I actually forgot I was reading because the world of Pern, its dragons and its characters became so real to me—and are still so very real to me to this day.

Dragonflight by Anne McCaffrey
The golden dragon is Ramoth and her rider is Lessa
Painting by Michael Whelan

I have lived and breathed this series that spans seventeen novels and many short stories for years.  Every time I read it it’s like I’m visiting old friends.  I have collected all of the novels in hardcover and softcover.  I own all of the Collector’s and Book Club editions of the novels.  I met Anne in person quite a few years ago and she signed the well-read and well-loved copy of Dragonflight Grandpa gave me.  Because Anne is the inspirational woman that she is, in middle school I began dabbling in creative writing by inventing my own dragonrider characters, penning down their stories and making illustrations to go along with them (sadly I can’t find those stories but I still have many of the drawings).  When I was in high school I joined an online Pern-based writing club—one of the few that had been officially approved by Anne herself—and created, very thoroughly I might add, my own dragonrider characters and wrote their stories alongside many other talented and devoted fans.  I poured my heart and soul into many of the storylines I created with the other club members, and like Anne’s characters, my own became just as real.  (I hope to return to the club and my characters one day!) 

When you love a fictional—and yet real—world like Pern with all your heart and when you devote so much creative energy to play in that world…it’s hard to describe just how much it becomes a part of you.  To know that the creator of Pern is no longer with us is very sad and my heart ached when my brother told me she had passed on.  However, I really can’t be too sad because she lives on in her novels and short stories, and because I know that her soul is certainly in a much better place now—and she is probably blissfully soaring across the astral heavens on her own golden dragon even as I write this.

Anne McCaffrey

<3

Finis

“Hi, is this Doris?”

“Yes it is.”

“Oh hi, it’s Dana.  I forgot if I was supposed to call you today or tomorrow for the Comps scores.”

“Oh, well I have them right here in front of me, if you want to know…”

*deep breath*  “Sure!  Let’s hear it.”

“Let’s see…  Dana…  You got a pass.”

“I passed?”

“You passed!”

“I passed!”

Me and Molly right after taking the Comps
We both passed!

Well, my friends, after 19 years, I’m finally done with school!  This semester I have completed the English Literature Masters Program by finishing up my last class (hooray for Beowulf!) and by passing the Comps exam with my dear friend Molly by my side; and at the same time I have also completed the Multiple Subject Credential Program for teaching grades K-8.  To all those who think that you can’t complete both programs at the same time: you can.  If you have the will, the patience to apply yourself, and a positive attitude, you can.  I have.  But it certainly wasn’t a cake walk.  I worked very hard for the last two and a half years.  This last semester was perhaps the hardest I have ever worked.  I didn’t draw and I didn’t read for fun and I didn’t have a social life outside my one masters class and student teaching.  I lived in my own world of constant lesson planning, teaching, TPA3 and TPA4 preparation and writing, Beowulf-reading and essay writing, and Comps exam preparation.  The week before Thanksgiving was the week where I began sprinting toward the end of the semester because all TPAs and essays were due and the Comps test date was looming—and I made it!  So it’s possible, guys.  I’m living proof!  I want to thank all of those who have supported and encouraged me through this final semester: God, my dear family, my master teachers Donna and Vickie, my professors Dr. van Elk, Ilan, and Mimi, my dearest friends (you all know exactly who you are :D), and my awesome student teacher girls Kasey, Kari and Jenny.  I couldn’t have done it without all of you—thank you!

Me and Donna

I’ve grown up so much in this last year, and especially in this last semester.  I’ve discovered new strengths I didn’t even know I had until I was taking charge of 30 first graders and 33 sixth graders.  And I’ve discovered that I really love teaching—especially the little ones.  Before I started student teaching I wasn’t sure if I would even like teaching.  I remember being so nervous about embarking on this journey that I didn’t sleep much my last weekend of summer vacation because I was fretting so.  It turns out that all the anxiety I felt was unnecessary.  My experiences in both primary grade and upper grade were wonderful.  I love both my master teachers.  I love the kids.  I love the school environment.  I love teaching.  The principal of the last elementary school I was at has given me paperwork to become a sub for the district and I am well on my way to making my subbing license official (as are the rest of my student teacher friends who completed this amazing journey with me)! 

Jenny, Kasey, Phoenix, Vickie, Me, Michelle and Kari

So what’s next for me now that I’m done with school?  Well, getting my subbing license is first on the list.  Passing the RICA is next.  Then getting a full-time job with (hopefully!) a primary grade.  But until then?  Right now I’m basking in the glow of knowing that I’m done with school.  I’m really enjoying Christmas vacation (I’ve just finished decorating the Christmas tree!  I wound over 1,500 lights within the branches and lovingly nestled all my favorite ornaments in perfect places while I sang along to Celine Dion’s Christmas album).  I’ve been mentally and physically resting.  I’ll be getting back to exercising and eating more healthy.  I’m working on commissions and I’ll finally be drawing for myself again.  I’ll be reading novels that are on the “Once I’m Done With School” list.  I’ll be hanging out with my friends.  I’ll be going to work at my family’s company and I’ll be thanking God every day that I have a job. 

One phase of my life is over and a new one is just beginning.  Every time I think about the future ahead of me I get so excited.  Bring it, world!  :)

<3

Happiness

Even though I’m stressing about so many things right now I’m trying to take the time to find happiness in every part of my day and acknowledge consciously that I’m happy—and honestly it hasn’t been that hard!  I’m loving what I’m doing with my life right now.  Being a student teacher is so much fun!  It’s a lot of work, yes, but it’s one of the most rewarding experiences of my life.  I love the kids, both the first and sixth graders, and my master teachers.  They all make me smile and laugh every single day.

When I was with my first grade class their sweetness, “love notes” (little mementos they drew or wrote to me…I have a huge pile!), hugs and stories brightened my days.  I even got a written marriage proposal from one of them—my first marriage proposal ever!—and I quote: “Will you mere me.  Can we have a date.”  And he drew a house with me and him together in it.  It was so sweet.  I received it on my last day and the boy who gave it to me didn’t put his name on it, but I remember thinking to myself that I had never gotten a "love note" from this boy before.  I wish he had written his name!  My last day with my first graders was perhaps one of the brightest days in my student teaching experience.  It was bittersweet, of course, but so many good things happened that day: my master teacher and I had our traditional Starbucks together, we gave each other gifts (she gave me a framed picture of us together with our first graders), there was a feast of autumnal goodies put together by all the master teachers since we student teachers were leaving, I was given presents and more love notes from my kids, and they were all especially wonderful the entire day.  Earlier that week I had made up little parting gifts to give to each of them (one Disney pencil and pen per student tied together with curly yellow ribbon, an Achievement Certificate: the Outstanding Scientist Award, personalized for each student and signed by me, and I also gave each of them a really cool holographic African animal sticker, or “scientist badge,” made by National Geographic to wear the entire day).  As I called up each student to give them their present and award, I got hugs from them all, including the boys who tended to be so shy!  Not only did I get hugs, I got “I don’t want you to go” “I’m going to miss you” and “I love you” from everyone.  I had the biggest lump in my throat but I was able to hold it together fairly well (my master teacher and I had already cried twice that day, so I was trying to keep the threatening tears back as best as I could) but once the bell rang for dismissal and all my kids surrounded me, hugging me so tightly that I couldn’t move, I completely broke down and cried.  I reassured them that I was okay, that I was crying just because I was going to miss them so much!  And in response they hugged me all the harder.  I promised them I’d come back and see them as often as I could—and I will!  Even though it was a sad day, it was also one of the brightest and happiest days, if that makes any sense at all. 

I haven’t had as much time yet with the sixth grade class I’m in but I’m starting to get to know the kids better day by day—and they’re growing on me, for sure!  I really like them.  They’re at that age when their senses of humor are starting to come out and they have me smiling and laughing all the time!  When I look at them, I see myself in them—the kid in me.  I love it when they find any excuse to get me to talk to them.  They’ll raise their hands, ask a question, and then make a comment, which of course turns into a conversation…one that I usually have to cut short, but I love that they do it!  I remember doing the exact same thing to my teachers (whom I loved!) when I was in sixth grade and to see that they’re pulling the same stuff I did when I was little to show me that they like me really makes me happy. 

I’m learning so much about how to be a successful teacher and I’m learning all over the place: in the classroom, in the lounge, in parent-teacher conferences, in staff and grade-level meetings and in talks with both my master teachers.  These two women inspire me, and I mean that with all my heart.  It’s hard to explain why they inspire me…but I’m going to try to put it into words…  They’re witty, clever, intelligent, funny, honest, genuine, caring, appreciative, supportive, encouraging, positive, multi-talented and open-minded.  They’re great story-tellers.  They give me really awesome advice, and not just about teaching but they also offer it to me in other aspects of life.  They make me smile and laugh and I’m really happy when I’m around them.  There is no doubt in my mind that God had His hand in placing me with them at this point in my life and I’m blessed to know them.

<3

Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.

I know right?  Battlestar Galactica.  Like the rest of the characters in the show The Office, and everyone else who watched The Office, I too laughed at Dwight for liking the show because I knew it had the reputation of “being that scifi show that was really nerdy.”  But I really shouldn’t have scoffed at him or anyone else (fictional or real) who likes it because it’s all I’ve been watching since the summer began.  Yes, my friends, it is that good.  My friend Sam recommended the show to me last winter, telling me I’d probably enjoy it so I should try it.  I trust Sam’s word, so that Christmas I went ahead and bought the first season on Amazon.

I was completely hooked in the first 5 minutes of the pilot. 

I couldn’t look away.  Everything about the show drew me in: the sets, the music, the writing, the acting.  The cast is incredible and this paired with such excellent writing created characters who became real people to me.  I watched the entire first season by myself last winter and knew that I had to finish the journey through the next three seasons—I had to know how the story ended, but I didn’t want to travel the path alone.  Once the insanely-busy Spring semester was over and summer finally began, I convinced my family—including my awesome grandparents—to watch it with me and now they are just as in love with it as I am!

The plot of Battlestar Galactica isn’t new.  We’ve seen the same premise before in Mary Shelley’s novel Frankenstein, Ridley Scott’s movie Bladerunner, the Wachowski brothers’ The Matrix, and countless other books and films: humanity decides to play God by creating a new race of sentient beings and pays the ultimate price for their arrogance and conceit.  Battlestar Galactica is the tale of the war between the twelve colonies of humans and the cylons they created to be their slaves.  Humanity, however, is at an extreme disadvantage when the show begins because the cylons have destroyed most of the human race, leaving only 50,000 humans left.  This saga is about how these people, these survivors of a terrible holocaust, deal with the threat of extinction on a public and personal level.

Not since The X-Files and LOST have I cared so deeply and so passionately about a show and the characters in it, both cylon and human.  These characters of Battlestar Galactica have become real people to me and I love trying to get inside their heads to figure them out.  They fight, they bleed, they make mistakes, they play cards, they drink, they smoke, they have affairs, they die, they try, they pray, they cry, they conspire, they stand tall, they try to do the right thing, they laugh, they love.  If you know me personally then you know what a romantic I am, so of course the profound romances that develop between many of the characters have especially captured my imagination.  But the one relationship between my two favorite characters of the show, William Adama and Laura Roslin, is the one that has captured my heart.

William Adama is the commander of the battlestar ship Galactica.  He is a father and warrior.  He is brave, strong of heart and mind, honorable and loyal.  He loves his people.  He faces his fears and does what is hardest to do.  He is the kind of man men want to become and thus has not only the respect but the love of his people.  Laura Roslin becomes president of the colonies after the cylon attack that wipes out most of humanity on the twelve planets.  She is poised, intelligent, clever and sharp-witted.  Like Adama, she is brave and strong in heart and mind.  She believes in her convictions and doesn’t back down even if her beliefs are unpopular.  These two characters have their flaws, of course—they’re human, after all—and I love seeing them acknowledge and face these flaws of theirs.  It’s part of what makes them so intriguing. 

At the beginning of the series, Roslin and Adama are wary allies.  But as the series progresses, their relationship slowly unfolds from this cautious alliance to a partnership of mutual respect and trust, which develops naturally into a deep friendship and then into a love so profound that it has brought tears to my eyes many times.  Theirs is the kind of romance that inspires me because it isn’t rushed.  It takes the entire series for these two to get from point A to point D and I loved seeing them get closer and closer every episode.  As I went through the seasons I looked forward to every scene they had together, wondering what they would say to each other this time, or what little touch would one bestow on the other, or how they would look at each other.  I love this couple because they trust each other, because they danced together, because they share a love of books, because she knows what’s best for him, because he tells her what she needs to hear, because they find an inner peace when they are with each other, because they make each other laugh, because they miss each other, because they understand each other, because he sang to her, because they have their disagreements, because they forgive each other, because their walls come down when they are with each other, because her home is where he is, because they are there for each other, because he read to her, because he left the fleet to find her, because they got high together, because she told him her dream, because he brought her dream to life, because she made him believe, because they have their own song titled “Roslin and Adama” on the series soundtrack, because you would be a complete and utter fool to cross them, because they are each other’s strength and weakness, because they kissed, because they made love, because one cannot live without the other, because they love each other.

So…moral of the story: do yourself a favor and watch Battlestar Galactica.  And don’t scoff until you've watched the pilot.  I made that mistake already and have laughed at myself ever since!  The show explores so many themes and life lessons relevant to life today that you might take something more from it than just the satisfaction of watching a TV saga of quality.  And if you do watch it, I hope you love it—and I hope you love Adama and Roslin as much as I do!

<3

My Journey with Harry Potter

Everyone has their Harry Potter story.  This is mine.

My long and epic journey with Harry Potter began back in 1997 and I have my dear Grandpa to thank for it.  He had always—and still does—encourage my love of reading.  When I was a little girl he’d take me to Barnes and Noble (then called Bookstar) and would set me loose among the shelves to find novels I wanted to read.  After watching me browse, he would get a feel for what genres I liked and would go on his own hunt for me…and would eventually come back with his arms full of all kinds of books.  Together we would kneel down in an aisle and would go through the back of each one.  Grandpa would always help fill my basket up—sometimes we even needed two!  It was Grandpa who had heard about the new British author, JK Rowling, and how her book Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone had captured the hearts and imaginations of so many children.  Since Grandpa knew I loved books with magic in them, he went to Bookstar on his own one day and bought Sorcerer’s Stone and gave it to my mom to give to me. 

It was one of the best presents Grandpa has ever given me.  Harry Potter isn’t just a book series.  It’s so much more than that.  It’s a phenomenon, and I’m not sure how you can explain a phenomenon.  I know I can’t really find the words to explain how much the series means to me and why.  It’s a mystery, it’s magical, and it’s a story in which you can connect emotionally with each character, whether they are major or minor.  It’s a story about good and evil, love, loyalty, bravery, and sacrifice.  When I first started reading it I could not put it down.  I remember staying up long past my bedtime because I had to unravel the magical mystery of Harry Potter.

As the years passed and I got older, Harry got older with me.  When the fourth book came out a couple of my childhood friends, my brother, my mom and I went to Barnes and Noble for the first ever Harry Potter midnight book release.  I remember the employees pushing giant carts filled with nothing but copies the book down the aisles to the cash registers—but the tops were covered because the dustjacket and title were supposed to remain a secret and a surprise for everyone until the stroke of midnight.  I remember being absolutely delighted with the cover once it was unveiled, and we all were trying to predict what would happen and who the new characters were on the ride home.  When we all got back to my house that night we read together for at least an hour before going to bed. 

As I entered into high school the first movie came out in theatres and the fandom reached a new, incredible high.  I’m proud to say that I have taken part in every part of Harry fandom, have taken an actual Harry Potter class to fulfill a GE requirement during undergrad, and have gone to all the midnight premiers of the movies and the books.  I have three very favorite Harry Potter memories.  One was when I went to the midnight book release of Deathly Hallows.  I went to the Bella Terra Barnes and Noble Harry Potter party with my high school friends, my cousin and my brother and we all had a blast!  The store was decked out in Harry Potter decorations: banners of the four houses were hung from the balcony and golden snitches were hung from every ceiling panel.  People, young and old, either came in Harry Potter-themed home-made or Hot Topic shirts or came in costume—one kid even brought his pet snake!  When the clock stuck twelve pandemonium erupted in the store.  The excitement and happiness was palpable—and you should have seen the parking lot!  Hundreds of people were milling around the outside of the store, waiting for those who had reserved copies to hurry up and finish purchasing so they could have their turn.  Both my brother and I stayed up into the wee hours of the morning that night to read it—and we both finished it the following night.  I remember weeping non-stop during the last few chapters.  My bed was riddled with Kleenex and I can remember my heart breaking when I finally learned the Prince’s Tale, when Fred, Lupin and Tonks died, when Harry spoke to the spirits of his dead family and friends before going to Voldemort to die, and when Dumbledore came to Harry at King’s Cross. 

In the same year that Deathly Hallows was released, my brother and I were two of 2,000 people who won tickets from Scholastic to go meet JK Rowling and have a book signed at the Carnegie Hall in New York.  That was an once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that I will never forget! 

My third favorite memory was going to the midnight premier of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part II last week.  I went with two of my dearest friends, Sam and Molly, and Molly’s family.  I decided to bake Harry Potter “Puppet Pals” cupcakes for the occasion and as I baked I remembered how bittersweet it had been to hold the final book in my hands back in 2007 because I knew it would be the last time I’d be adventuring with Harry, Ron and Hermione.  But at the time I had consoled myself with the fact that there were still the movies to look forward to—but now the movies are over.  I enjoyed every moment of waiting in line for the movie that night—even though I was very aware that it was the last Harry Potter event, I didn’t let it subdue me.  It was so much fun to talk with my friends about our favorite moments in the books and movies, to take pictures with the giant cardboard cutouts of the characters, and watch those who had come in costume.  Some guy dressed up as a dementor battled it out with a stormtrooper.  Yes, a stormtrooper.  From Star Wars.  It was hilarious!

The movie itself was amazing.  We fans cheered when we recognized the famous lines characters had said in the book (such as Molly Weasley’s “Not my daughter, you bitch!” to Bellatrix), and we wept when Snape was murdered, when Harry gathered his tears, and when we saw into his memories of his relationship with Lily.  Alan Rickman is incredible and he will always be Snape—no other actor could ever be him.  Ever.  Tears streamed down my cheeks when Snape held Lily’s lifeless body in his arms and I had to pull out the Kleenex from my purse and share it with my girls. 

Once the movie ended and the credits started rolling the applause was deafening.  We were all laughing and wiping away our tears and I remember just living in the moment, soaking it all in, since it was the last time all the fans and friends would be together united in Harry Potter love. 

Thank you, Jo Rowling, for a wonderful 14 years.  I have stuck with Harry until the very end and have enjoyed every moment.  You’ve created a world that is unique and special and I consider myself blessed to have been a part of the magic.

<3

Instagram

I love Instagram.  It’s my favorite iPhone app.  Molly first introduced me to it last semester and I thought to myself, “Self, when I get an iPhone, I will get this app!”  When I finally bought my iPhone last week at Walmart for a really good deal it was the first app I downloaded—yes, I even downloaded it before the Facebook one! 

Instagram brings out the inner-photographer in me.  This app is not just a camera—it’s an *artistic* camera because it has several different filters you can choose from to put the photos through to make them appear brighter with high contrast, or more subdued and soft with a romantic feel.  I’m really enjoying documenting my days using Instagram.  I like working on training my eye in how to make the every day things artsy and fun.  Since I don’t have a lot of time to draw, this helps me tap into and explore my artistic side.

Some photos to share...

<3

Summer Reading

Probably like most college graduate students, summer is my reading-for-fun time.  Even though I work 40 hours a week, go out with my friends and take care of family responsibilities on top of all of that, I always make time to read every summer night before bed.  Reading relaxes me and it allows me to escape the mundane of every day life (because, let’s face it, every day life can get a little boring sometimes!) into time periods lost to history, or into different worlds filled with the fantastical.

I’m the type of summer reader who likes to devote her time and energy to one book at a time.  However, since I belong to two book clubs this summer I’ve had to adapt—and I’ve done so very willingly!  Right now I’m reading Bleak House by Charles Dickens with one group (there are six of us) and with the other (there are only two of us) I’m reading Agnes Grey by Anne Bronte.  I haven’t started Agnes Grey yet (it’s coming in the mail!) but I have started Bleak House and I love it!  It’s Dickens’s best work.  If you haven’t read it I highly suggest picking it up, or if it’s too daunting for you, I recommend watching Bleak House the BBC mini series starring Gillian Anderson as Lady Dedlock.  The mini series is what got me completely hooked into the intricate mystery of Bleak House—not surprising, since the screenplay is written by the genius Andrew Davies (he’s the one who wrote screenplay for the beloved Colin Firth version of Pride and Prejudice) so you will not be disappointed I promise!

In addition to these two books I’m reading for my book clubs, I’m also reading a historical fiction novel called Here Be Dragons by Sharon Kay Penman and The Witches of Eileanan fantasy series by Kate Forsyth.  Kate is an Australian author and even though this series was first published back in the 1990s I’ve just discovered it this year.  I’ve been searching and searching for a new fantasy series to cherish as much as I cherish The Dragonriders of Pern by Anne McCaffrey and Melanie Rawn’s Dragon Prince and Dragon Star trilogies.  I remember browsing Barnes and Noble a few years back, scouring the book shelves for another fantasy series that wasn’t cliché, and suddenly came across one of Kate’s novels called The Tower of Ravens.  The cover depicted a blue-black, horned, winged mare flying over wild, mountainous terrain with a bold, young woman riding on her back, a bow and a quiver of arrows slung over her shoulder.  Now, I’ve always loved horses, and as a young one I loved stories about pegasuses (pegasi?) and unicorns, and of course that love has carried over into my adult life, so I picked it up, read the back, thought it seemed promising, and bought it. 

As is the way of the world, life happened and I forgot about The Tower of Ravens until I came across it on my bookshelf last semester.  So I picked it up…and couldn’t put it down!  Kate has created the world I’ve been searching for: Eileanan, a fantastical land that mingles both the eastern and western cultures, a land that is overflowing with Celtic, Scottish and Indian lore, magic, dragons, winged horses, satyrcorns, witches, warlocks, merpeople and fantasy creatures I hadn’t even imagined until reading this series.  All of characters are three-dimensional, the main plot and subplots are woven together with such finesse, and rather than just telling me her story, Kate shows it to me using detailed descriptions and allowing me to see into the intriguing minds of her characters.  There are nine books in the series (Dragonclaw, The Pool of Two Moons, The Cursed Towers, The Forbidden Land, The Skull of the World, The Fathomless Caves, The Tower of Ravens, The Shining City and The Heart of Stars).  The Tower of Ravens, The Shining City and The Heart of Stars actually take place after the first six, and when I realized this I went back to Barnes and Noble to start at the very beginning like I should have done so in the first place—but found out that the first six were out of print here in America!  So I made a mad dash to a used bookstore in Fullerton and couldn’t find them there, or even on ebay.  Amazon had a couple of them for sale starting at $15.00 and I wasn’t about to pay that much for a used paperback no matter how much I wanted to read it.  So I waited.  Bided my time for weeks on end—and my patience finally paid off this week because I found all six novels being sold by the same person on Amazon for $2.00 each and I snatched them up before anyone else could!

My friends, Kate’s rare novels are USPSing their way to me as I write this and I’m so excited!  As much as I love reading classic literature, there will always be a part of me that adores well-written and thought-provoking fantasy novels just as much.  I’m very happy to be reading both genres this summer.

<3

I Wanna Dance With Somebody :)

So, my dear friend Danaé is getting married soon and I can’t wait to dance at her wedding.  Seriously.  I love to dance, but I’m the first to admit that it’s not my number one talent.  My sense of rhythm is kind of lacking—unless the dance is choreographed, or if it’s line dancing, or if it is one of the traditional ones that I can do with a man (because then I’m like, “I got this!”).  Thank God for the cotillion classes and the hula and tap lessons I took in grade school, the dances I signed up for during my high school Red and Gold days, and the concerts I've been to because they have given me the basics and keep me from looking like a complete newbie out on the dance floor.  Even though freestyle dance isn’t my thing, if you give me a little while, I’ll eventually ignore that fearful, insecure voice in the back of my mind that wants to hold me back and I will dance the night away!

What got me thinking about dancing today were two songs I heard on the radio: Whitney Houston’s I Wanna Dance With Somebody and Chris Brown’s Forever.  I love these dance songs.  Whenever I hear them on the radio I find some way to dance to them, either with my fingers taping on the steering wheel or with my foot tapping on the floor (but not my gas pedal foot!).  I grew up listening to I Wanna Dance With Somebody and I can remember jumping around in my room as a little one, wearing my special “dance costumes” (which were long full skirts and silken scarves wrapped around my arms, neck and hair), waving the Ribbon Dancer around and belting out the lyrics at the top of my lungs (I obviously wasn’t as self-conscious then as I am now…but what child isn’t self-conscious at the youngster age, right?).  Whitney Houston’s song brings back so many flashes of happy childhood memories to me and it’s that wistful nostalgia that keeps my love for that song strong.  I first heard Forever on the episode of The Office when Jim and Pam finally got married.  I’d been waiting for that marriage since Season 1 and when it finally happened I was so excited!  Of course, I didn’t understand that The Office was spoofing a youtube video until after the episode was over—but once I saw that youtube video I loved the song even more!  I’m still not quite sure how I feel about the bridal party rocking out to that song as they dance down the aisle in a church of all places…it’s really not very respectful…but the concept was original and I can forgive their lapse because they looked like they were so happy and were having such a good time!  Then I heard Forever at Molly and Bryce’s wedding when we were all out dancing in the nighttime air in-between the gardens covered in Christmas tree lights.  That was another special moment because the joy was palpable…everyone was smiling and laughing and dancing and even singing along! 

Whenever I hear those two songs I always think of all of the happy moments they are now always and forever associated with, and I know my husband and I will dance to them at our own wedding.  But until then, I hope Danaé plays them at hers so I can dance to them (and hopefully with somebody)!

<3

Here's that youtube video!

Thoughts On A Conversation Overheard

Last Tuesday, after my friends and I parted ways to walk to our cars after our last Renaissance class, I fell behind two girls, both younger than me, walking in the same direction.  Now, I didn’t mean to eavesdrop but they were talking pretty loudly so I heard everything they said.  And what they were talking about made me so angry that I remember that I clenched my jaw and actually winced.  One girl (I’ll refer to her as Girl A) was saying she wanted to dump her boyfriend—things weren’t working out because of respect issues.  I could understand that.  But my respect for her instantly dropped when she went on to say how she didn’t really want to break up with him because she was having fun and she didn’t relish the thought of being alone.  Her friend (Girl B) laughed and said, yeah, it’s fun until you get knocked up, and you really don’t want that!  (The fact that they referred to a baby as “knocked up” in such a laughing, disrespectful tone made me see red).  They shared some inane giggles.  Then Girl A said, yeah, I don’t want that, and even though I’m having fun I don’t know if I can keep on with him.  Girl B replied, well, if you do break up with him, you can just get a rebound guy.  They’re not hard to come by and you can totally use him and have fun!  More inane laughter.

Thank God they veered off in a different direction at this point because I don’t think I could have taken any more of it. 

My friend Erin was telling me just a couple weeks ago how so many girls use guys physically and emotionally and then throw them away once they’ve had their fun.  When she was telling me this I remember thinking how I’ve never seen or heard of that happening—not that I didn’t doubt her, I'd just never seen it.  Even though I’ve been on the college campus for six years I have never heard such selfishly blatant and ugly remarks coming out of someone’s mouth, and that includes both girls and guys—until, of course, I overhead Girls A and B.  It made me sick inside to hear what they said.  Shame on them for making light of using someone for their own, selfish amusement.  Yes, they were laughing over a hypothetical situation, but the fact that they even thought it and giggled about it shows that they could put their words into practice if the opportunity ever arose.  What makes it even worse is that Girl A said her boyfriend didn’t respect her, and yet she laughed about how easily she could use a rebound guy—not date him, but use him.  Tell me, how is using a guy respecting him?  Hypocrite.

When I went through my own break-up it never occurred to me to use a guy to get over the sense of loss.  I would never do that to a man.  Not ever.  When I'll go out with a man I'll be with him because I genuinely like him and want to get to know him.  Spend time with him.  Laugh with him.  Love him.  I’m so ashamed of and disappointed in the girls who use men so selfishly.  I guess it could be argued that the guy could know the girl’s intentions and still allow her to use him so it could all be “okay,” but this only perpetuates the immoral cycle of manipulative depravity.  How can anyone gain anything good from being used and from being a user?  In the big picture of things I don’t think it’s possible that anyone can gain anything good from that.

Over the weekend, I watched two of my favorite chick flicks, Return to Me and When Harry Met Sally, to wipe the residual grime of last week’s memory away.  I absolutely love these sweet romances—they make me so happy.  If you haven’t seen them, you should definitely watch them when you have some free time.

<3

Awesome Memories

Well, my second Spring semester as a grad student is almost over and I’m rather sad to see it end!  I have had so much fun this Spring—from science field trips such as boating on a stormy day, visiting tide pools and petting swell sharks (yes, I did pet actual sharks, and no, I wasn’t scared!), to my friends and I laughing over discovering what is probably one of the first “yo mamma” insults ever in one of our Renaissance plays The White Devil by John Webster…it all has been an absolute blast!  Sure, I experienced stress, just like I do every semester (this time around was perhaps a little more stressful than usual because I took five classes, two language, one English Lit and two more for my teaching credential, all of them work-intensive, and on top of all of this I also worked 20+ hours a week).  But all of the stress I went through was totally worth it because of all the laughs and good times my friends and I shared.

As I have told my girls, all I remember of last semester is darkness.  But new and bright light came back into my campus life this Spring and I have God, my family and dear friends to thank for that!  I’ve been so happy this semester and I’m really going to miss sitting and chatting outside LA1 and LA2 with my friends, soaking up the sunshine while sipping on my nonfat white chocolate mocha (or my sweetened iced green tea!).  I’m going to miss the late night Tuesday librarybucks chatting dates with Molly and the spontaneous runs to Deli News for $5 medium pepperoni pizzas.  I’m going to miss the random, spur-of-the-moment lunch dates with Danaé, “What’s Happening Hour” with Bobbie and chillin’ out with Sam.  I’m going to miss frantically trying to finish the reading I couldn’t get done the night before an hour before class starts—and then, after reading as far as I could, getting the Melissa-ized version for the rest!  I’m going to miss Kat’s sweetness and snark, Melissa’s and Rachel’s stories, and the discussions Erin and I have about American Girl, men, Harry Potter, and retail therapy.  In fact, I’m going to miss all of the conversations I share with my girls!  I’m going to miss the fun science experiments, such as making ice cream using nothing but spoons, plastic bags, sugar, vanilla, milk, rock salt and ice.  I'm going to miss my professors teasing me.  I’m going to miss the hilarious times in my Spanish class and the “I can’t believe this is real life” looks my tablemates and I shared during our math class.  I’m going to miss Old English (not necessarily the translating part…I could do without that ;D) and the great one-liners my professor had (“thinky thing,” anyone?) and the conversations about how Beowulf and Grendel’s mother are like the pro-wrestlers we see on TV, ninjas fighting unicorns, unicorns fighting ninjas, and how the Anglo-Saxon people are misconstrued by the general public as hoards of peasants eating turnips.

Oh, how I love school!  I’m going to miss it so much when I finally graduate with my masters and teaching credential next year.  But I will forever have these awesome memories to take with me on my journey through my adult life and I’m sure they’ll make me beam with just as much joy then as they make me do now.

PS: In case you want to read one of the first ever “yo mamma” insults…

Monticelso [to Vittoria]:   I shall be plainer with you, and paint out

                                       Your follies in more natural red and white

                                       Than that upon your cheek.

Vittoria:   Oh, you mistake.

               You raise a blood as noble in this cheek

               As ever was your mother’s.

(3.2.51-56)

Love it.

<3

I'm an American Girl Who Loves American Girl!

My love for the American Girl doll collection started when I was a little girl in second (or was it third?) grade.  Back then when American Girl was still owned by Pleasant Company before the Mattel buy-out there were only five dolls and their sets of stories you could collect.  Each doll represented an era of American history:

1)      Felicity Merriman: a spunky, spritely girl growing up in Virginia in 1774, just before the Revolutionary War. Felicity grows impatient doing the "sitting-down kinds of things" that colonial girls are expected to do. She much prefers to be outdoors, especially riding horses! Felicity learns about loyalty and responsibility - to her family, her friends, and her country - and what it means to be truly independent.

2)      Kirsten Larson: a pioneer girl of strength and spirit growing up in Minnesota in 1854. After a long, dangerous voyage with her family from Sweden to America, Kirsten finds it difficult to get used to a new country and a new way of life. But as she makes friends and discovers what her new land has to offer, she learns the true meaning of home.

3)      Addy Walker: a proud, courageous girl who escapes from slavery with her mother in 1864. Together they embark on a dangerous journey to the North, hoping one day to reunite their family. Addy learns to read and write, makes new friends, and discovers what being free really means.

4)      Samantha Parkington: a bright, compassionate girl living with her wealthy grandmother in 1904. It's an exciting time of change in America, and Samantha's world is filled with frills and finery, parties and play. But Samantha sees that times are not good for everybody. That's why she tries to make a difference in the life of her friend Nellie, a servant girl whose life is nothing like Samantha's.

5)      Molly McIntire: a lively, lovable schemer and dreamer growing up in 1944. The world is at war, and she misses her father who is overseas caring for wounded soldiers. Molly doesn't like many of the changes the war has brought, like rationing rubber, eating turnips for dinner, and not seeing Dad on Christmas. But she learns the importance of getting along and pulling together - just as her country must do to win the war.

(Descriptions courtesy of http://curtdanhauser.com/AG_Collecting/Main.html)

When I was little I really wanted the Kirsten doll and my family gave her to me for either my birthday or for Christmas—I can’t remember which.  But I do remember the absolute excitement and happiness I felt when I opened the box and saw that I finally had my very own American Girl Kirsten doll.  My friends and I all had dolls from American Girl and we would always play with them.  We were creative girls and we took our dolls on adventures through beautiful, enchanted forests and magical landscapes that were inhabited by faeries, unicorns, gryphons, various other mythical creatures, and animals that could talk.  I took very good care of Kirsten and of course I still have her, her books, and many of her original outfits and accessories.

Inevitably, as these things happen when you’re growing up, I stopped collecting American Girl and found new hobbies to explore (such as model horse collecting, among other things).  But I always had a soft spot for American Girl.  Whenever I would see the books in Barnes and Noble, or when I would come across a catalogue in the mail, or when I would see Kirsten tucked safely away in my closet, I would get a little wistful and remember all the fun times I had playing with her.  I knew then that when I had children (hopefully a daughter or two!) I would want them to play with her and create their own wonderful American Girl memories. 

When I was in eighth grade my whole class and I went to the east coast and traveled from Williamsburg all the way up to New York City in two weeks.  We explored all of the major historical sites and I absolutely loved them all!  My favorites, though, were Williamsburg, Mt. Vernon and Monticello.  It was on this trip where the love that I have now for the Revolutionary War era of American history blossomed.  Ever since the East Coast Trip I’ve loved studying and reading about the Founding Fathers and the birth of my beloved country.  I remember the fleeting thought passing through my mind when I was traversing the Williamsburg grounds: I should have been more into Felicity when I was little!  While I love Kirsten and her story, Felicity is really the doll that represents the period of American history that I love the most.  And so, as I graduated eighth grade, I got it into my head to buy my own Felicity when I was older.

 Flash forward to ten years later...

A couple weeks ago, my friend Erin and I were reminiscing about American Girl (it turns out she was just as into all of the dolls as I was!).  I shared with her that I really wanted to buy Felicity one day, especially since I found out last year that American Girl was going to retire her soon.  (American Girl has slowly been retiring all the historical dolls and is going more mainstream with their sales of modern-day dolls that “can look like you!”  It makes me a little sad to see all of the historical dolls, who were such a wonderful part of my childhood, disappear year by year).  I told Erin this and she told me she wanted to buy Felicity too!  The next day I saw Erin’s message on my facebook wall: “I can’t find Felicity on the American Girl website!  Is she gone??  PANIC!”  I rushed over to the site to check—and sure enough, Felicity was gone.  Just like that.  Retired.  No longer available anywhere!

Except on ebay.  You can find anything on ebay.

So I then rushed over to ebay and did a little research on the Felicity doll, both the pre-and-post-Mattel models.  After a day or so of debating with myself over whether I should buy her or not now, I decided to commit to a purchase (as did Erin!).  Since Felicity is now retired, her value as a collector’s doll is going up—and will continue to do so as the years go on.  So, with a beaming smile, I bought an original Pleasant Company pre-Mattel Felicity doll and excitedly awaited her arrival for a whole week.

My friends, Felicity finally came yesterday!  She really is a beautiful doll with a pretty, round face, lovely green eyes and bright copper-red hair. 

Erin and I have decided that we are going to continue collecting Felicity’s original outfits and accessories.  We’re really excited about owning Felicity (finally!) and starting our American Girl collections back up.  I have such wonderful memories of American Girl when I was a little girl playing in my room and out in the backyard with my elementary school friends, and it will be so fun to create brand new American Girl memories with more friends as an adult.  Erin already has a great ebay story about how she got into an intense bidding war with someone else over Felicity’s Christmas gown—I’m sure there will be many more stories like that in the future!  I can’t wait to share all of these stories and my love of American Girl with my future daughter(s) one day.

<3

(Reposted, since blogger crashed and lost it the first time around!)

Renaissance Faire Adventures!

Me, Melissa, Kat and Erin

Yesterday I shared my first Renaissance Faire experience with my close friends from my Renaissance Drama class: Katrina, Melissa and Erin (her boyfriend Ben and Kat’s boyfriend Tu came too).  We all had so much fun!  We arrived at the Faire early and purchased our discount tickets.  My change came back in “gold” dollar coins—that was much more Faire-esque than paper money!  I felt like a legit Faire-goer with those in my wallet.  Then Melissa and I were asked by a woman dressed as a peasant if we wanted to buy “fine carrots grown in the Shire”—we declined…we were more in a “Sin on a Stick” (a rather bawdy name, isn’t it?  But it’s actually frozen cheesecake dipped in chocolate on a stick), fish and chips, meatpie, pasta, turkey leg, chicken and quail kind of mood than a veggies mood.  (We were definitely looking forward to eating all of that famous Faire food!)

My hairdo

The first thing the group of us did was to go to “Braids for Maids” so I could get my hair done up in swirling French braids, ribbons and flowers.  The maid who did my hair was quite skilled in her craft.  It took her about 20 minutes to gather my hair up and twist it into two fancy braids and adorn it with pretty ribbons and flowers—it was well worth the money!  When we were all there a group of Puritans came inside and did a Biblical skit for us.  …There was a unicorn in it.  And an ark.  And that’s all I remember about it!  I tipped my hair dresser maid and she yelled out “God save the Tipper!  All Tippers go to…(and the rest of the people chimed in)…Heaven!”  That was hilarious.  All day, whenever someone would tip the Faire workers (who were always “in character” by the way), they would either yell “God save the Tipper” or “Huzzah for the Tipper” or “All Tippers go to…Heaven!”  Loved it.

The weather stayed blissfully cool until about 12:30 in the afternoon.  But even after 12:30 the weather didn’t get too hot.  The wind blowing in from across the water kept the temperature inside the Faire grounds relatively cool despite the sunshine beating down on us.  I still got a little sunburned (no surprise there, thanks to my Irish heritage!) and we got parched enough to shell out the money to get “Cold Drynks” as we traversed the Faire grounds.  We girls had a blast stopping at all the booths to ogle the pretty jewelry, try on skirts, peasant blouses and gypsy shawls and sashes.  The girls talked me into trying on a beautiful green, short-sleeved peasant blouse.  When I pulled back the curtain, they oood and ahhed over how I looked in it, then Melissa and Kat told me I had to “whore it up” and they pulled the sleeves down until they were off my shoulders (and showing much more skin than I’m used to!).  I felt feminine wearing it that way though—and we all decided that next year we’re going to try to make the effort to dress up in peasant blouses, corsets and full skirts!  Can’t wait.

Of course, you can’t go to the Renaissance Faire without having someone say something inappropriate to you.  A peasant woman with a basket full of flowers came up to us and told us we needed flowers for our bosoms.  I blushed and told her no, no, I really didn’t.  I was good.  And she insisted that men wanted to see flowers tucked away in our cleavage, and I told her, no, I’m pretty sure they don’t care.  (But maybe they do?  Who knows!)  Besides, my chest isn’t that big…the flowers probably wouldn’t have stayed even if I did buy some!  The girls were cracking up over my embarrassed responses to the peasant woman.  Later that day, Melissa was accosted by a drunk pirate who wanted to find her “treasure” and her “booty.”  He actually had a treasure map and laid it over her chest, and then tried to lay it over her bum.  Special, right?  And I was hit on by a Renaissance Archer Guy who I think was supposed to be Robin Hood.  Or something.  I felt him looking at me, and I purposefully did not look back, but he came over anyway and asked me, “Do you know why blondes have more fun?”  And I thought, Uh-oh, but decided to play along.  I smiled sweetly at him and said, “I…don’t know.  Why?”  And he replied, “Because there aren’t enough redheads to go around!”  *facepalm*  Special.  I’m pretty sure I flushed but I handled him as well as I could and told him “Thank you?” and was then rescued by the girls (thank you, girls!).  Later that afternoon we had a Yeoman “escort” us for 10 minutes or so.  Nevermind the fact that we had two guys with us—he just wanted to flirt with us girls.  I let Melissa, Erin and Kat handle him and I just laughed inside.  Eventually Melissa escaped him to walk with me.  Like Melissa said, these Faire workers have it pretty good: getting paid to flirt with girls?  Not too shabby of a job for a young buck. 

We all bought some things at the Faire, besides the seriously delicious food.  The girls bought jewelry, hair decorations, coronets and gypsy shawls, and I bought a half-wreath of cream-colored flowers with a pretty ribbons and greenery woven through them to wear on my head.  I felt like a princess wearing that!  While we were out shopping, Queen Elizabeth I went by with her train of nobles, including Shakespeare and Marlowe.  We girls slipped into “crowd character” and cheered and waved and shouted “Hi!” to her.  She met our eyes and waved and shouted “Hello!” back.  That made our afternoon.  Also, I almost got run down by the Pub Crawl.  Do take note: when going to the Ren Faire, don’t get in the way of people and their booze!  Thank you.

The last thing we all did was watch the jousting.  We were cheering for the black and white knight (I think he represented England) and it was a joust to the death!  We were totally into it.  We yelled and booed at the three knights we wanted to lose, and screamed and clapped for our knight.  He ended up being run through by two swords (bummer)—but at the end he lived again and came out of the gate galloping on his steed so it was all good!  Once the jousting was over we got to meet our knight and pet his horse.  I absolutely love horses.  I always have.  I love to ride them—trail riding or trotting or cantering, I love it all (and I’m a fairly good rider too, if I do say so myself!).  The horses these knights rode on were rescue horses, so I donated money to their cause. 

Also, I must share two of my favorite signs I saw: "Laundry Service: Drop Thy Britches Hither" and "Children Left Overnight Will Be Sold"  Hah!

So, moral of the story: Go to the Ren Faire!  It’s really fun, especially when you’re with a really awesome group of friends.

<3

Kiss kiss! Maybe he'll turn into a prince!

Simple Joys

Even when I’m feeling stressed about all of the projects and tests and papers I have due at the end of each semester, I always try to take the time to appreciate the simple joys each day brings.  This week has been a week of many joys.  Here’s a few I’ll share~

~An impromptu Deli News pepperoni pizza and chit-chat date with one of my dearest friends

~The gorgeous, warm weather

~Sitting outside between LA 1 and LA 2 and enjoying the warm sunshine on my face and the cool breeze in my hair

~Drinking a Starbucks sweetened green iced tea

~Making ice cream in class—and then getting to eat it

~Drawing
~Laughing and chatting with my dear friends before class starts and after class ends

~Finding out I have another month to earn more money to put towards Fall tuition

~The taste of fresh, homemade whipped cream

~Turning on the whole-house fan at night and listening to my two sweet little parakeets warble happily to the sound
~Talking on the phone with three of my other dearest friends

~Reminiscing about American Girl and finally, after years of waiting, buying Felicity

~Napping in the sun

~The feeling of clean, cool sheets against my bare legs

~Falling asleep at night with the window open

~Getting complimented

~Logging on to facebook and seeing my friends link me to posts that make me burst out laughing

~Hearing Florence & the Machine’s “Dog Days Are Over” on the radio and singing along

~Having my classmate wish me Happy Star Wars Day: May the Fourth be with you

~Finding more closure and feeling peace within about it

~Reading one of my favorite, well-loved books

Take the time to appreciate the simple joys in each day.  You’ll find that you can’t help but smile!

<3