Last Tuesday, after my friends and I parted ways to walk to our cars after our last Renaissance class, I fell behind two girls, both younger than me, walking in the same direction. Now, I didn’t mean to eavesdrop but they were talking pretty loudly so I heard everything they said. And what they were talking about made me so angry that I remember that I clenched my jaw and actually winced. One girl (I’ll refer to her as Girl A) was saying she wanted to dump her boyfriend—things weren’t working out because of respect issues. I could understand that. But my respect for her instantly dropped when she went on to say how she didn’t really want to break up with him because she was having fun and she didn’t relish the thought of being alone. Her friend (Girl B) laughed and said, yeah, it’s fun until you get knocked up, and you really don’t want that! (The fact that they referred to a baby as “knocked up” in such a laughing, disrespectful tone made me see red). They shared some inane giggles. Then Girl A said, yeah, I don’t want that, and even though I’m having fun I don’t know if I can keep on with him. Girl B replied, well, if you do break up with him, you can just get a rebound guy. They’re not hard to come by and you can totally use him and have fun! More inane laughter.
Thank God they veered off in a different direction at this point because I don’t think I could have taken any more of it.
My friend Erin was telling me just a couple weeks ago how so many girls use guys physically and emotionally and then throw them away once they’ve had their fun. When she was telling me this I remember thinking how I’ve never seen or heard of that happening—not that I didn’t doubt her, I'd just never seen it. Even though I’ve been on the college campus for six years I have never heard such selfishly blatant and ugly remarks coming out of someone’s mouth, and that includes both girls and guys—until, of course, I overhead Girls A and B. It made me sick inside to hear what they said. Shame on them for making light of using someone for their own, selfish amusement. Yes, they were laughing over a hypothetical situation, but the fact that they even thought it and giggled about it shows that they could put their words into practice if the opportunity ever arose. What makes it even worse is that Girl A said her boyfriend didn’t respect her, and yet she laughed about how easily she could use a rebound guy—not date him, but use him. Tell me, how is using a guy respecting him? Hypocrite.
When I went through my own break-up it never occurred to me to use a guy to get over the sense of loss. I would never do that to a man. Not ever. When I'll go out with a man I'll be with him because I genuinely like him and want to get to know him. Spend time with him. Laugh with him. Love him. I’m so ashamed of and disappointed in the girls who use men so selfishly. I guess it could be argued that the guy could know the girl’s intentions and still allow her to use him so it could all be “okay,” but this only perpetuates the immoral cycle of manipulative depravity. How can anyone gain anything good from being used and from being a user? In the big picture of things I don’t think it’s possible that anyone can gain anything good from that.
Over the weekend, I watched two of my favorite chick flicks, Return to Me and When Harry Met Sally, to wipe the residual grime of last week’s memory away. I absolutely love these sweet romances—they make me so happy. If you haven’t seen them, you should definitely watch them when you have some free time.
<3
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