Renaissance Faire Adventures!

Me, Melissa, Kat and Erin

Yesterday I shared my first Renaissance Faire experience with my close friends from my Renaissance Drama class: Katrina, Melissa and Erin (her boyfriend Ben and Kat’s boyfriend Tu came too).  We all had so much fun!  We arrived at the Faire early and purchased our discount tickets.  My change came back in “gold” dollar coins—that was much more Faire-esque than paper money!  I felt like a legit Faire-goer with those in my wallet.  Then Melissa and I were asked by a woman dressed as a peasant if we wanted to buy “fine carrots grown in the Shire”—we declined…we were more in a “Sin on a Stick” (a rather bawdy name, isn’t it?  But it’s actually frozen cheesecake dipped in chocolate on a stick), fish and chips, meatpie, pasta, turkey leg, chicken and quail kind of mood than a veggies mood.  (We were definitely looking forward to eating all of that famous Faire food!)

My hairdo

The first thing the group of us did was to go to “Braids for Maids” so I could get my hair done up in swirling French braids, ribbons and flowers.  The maid who did my hair was quite skilled in her craft.  It took her about 20 minutes to gather my hair up and twist it into two fancy braids and adorn it with pretty ribbons and flowers—it was well worth the money!  When we were all there a group of Puritans came inside and did a Biblical skit for us.  …There was a unicorn in it.  And an ark.  And that’s all I remember about it!  I tipped my hair dresser maid and she yelled out “God save the Tipper!  All Tippers go to…(and the rest of the people chimed in)…Heaven!”  That was hilarious.  All day, whenever someone would tip the Faire workers (who were always “in character” by the way), they would either yell “God save the Tipper” or “Huzzah for the Tipper” or “All Tippers go to…Heaven!”  Loved it.

The weather stayed blissfully cool until about 12:30 in the afternoon.  But even after 12:30 the weather didn’t get too hot.  The wind blowing in from across the water kept the temperature inside the Faire grounds relatively cool despite the sunshine beating down on us.  I still got a little sunburned (no surprise there, thanks to my Irish heritage!) and we got parched enough to shell out the money to get “Cold Drynks” as we traversed the Faire grounds.  We girls had a blast stopping at all the booths to ogle the pretty jewelry, try on skirts, peasant blouses and gypsy shawls and sashes.  The girls talked me into trying on a beautiful green, short-sleeved peasant blouse.  When I pulled back the curtain, they oood and ahhed over how I looked in it, then Melissa and Kat told me I had to “whore it up” and they pulled the sleeves down until they were off my shoulders (and showing much more skin than I’m used to!).  I felt feminine wearing it that way though—and we all decided that next year we’re going to try to make the effort to dress up in peasant blouses, corsets and full skirts!  Can’t wait.

Of course, you can’t go to the Renaissance Faire without having someone say something inappropriate to you.  A peasant woman with a basket full of flowers came up to us and told us we needed flowers for our bosoms.  I blushed and told her no, no, I really didn’t.  I was good.  And she insisted that men wanted to see flowers tucked away in our cleavage, and I told her, no, I’m pretty sure they don’t care.  (But maybe they do?  Who knows!)  Besides, my chest isn’t that big…the flowers probably wouldn’t have stayed even if I did buy some!  The girls were cracking up over my embarrassed responses to the peasant woman.  Later that day, Melissa was accosted by a drunk pirate who wanted to find her “treasure” and her “booty.”  He actually had a treasure map and laid it over her chest, and then tried to lay it over her bum.  Special, right?  And I was hit on by a Renaissance Archer Guy who I think was supposed to be Robin Hood.  Or something.  I felt him looking at me, and I purposefully did not look back, but he came over anyway and asked me, “Do you know why blondes have more fun?”  And I thought, Uh-oh, but decided to play along.  I smiled sweetly at him and said, “I…don’t know.  Why?”  And he replied, “Because there aren’t enough redheads to go around!”  *facepalm*  Special.  I’m pretty sure I flushed but I handled him as well as I could and told him “Thank you?” and was then rescued by the girls (thank you, girls!).  Later that afternoon we had a Yeoman “escort” us for 10 minutes or so.  Nevermind the fact that we had two guys with us—he just wanted to flirt with us girls.  I let Melissa, Erin and Kat handle him and I just laughed inside.  Eventually Melissa escaped him to walk with me.  Like Melissa said, these Faire workers have it pretty good: getting paid to flirt with girls?  Not too shabby of a job for a young buck. 

We all bought some things at the Faire, besides the seriously delicious food.  The girls bought jewelry, hair decorations, coronets and gypsy shawls, and I bought a half-wreath of cream-colored flowers with a pretty ribbons and greenery woven through them to wear on my head.  I felt like a princess wearing that!  While we were out shopping, Queen Elizabeth I went by with her train of nobles, including Shakespeare and Marlowe.  We girls slipped into “crowd character” and cheered and waved and shouted “Hi!” to her.  She met our eyes and waved and shouted “Hello!” back.  That made our afternoon.  Also, I almost got run down by the Pub Crawl.  Do take note: when going to the Ren Faire, don’t get in the way of people and their booze!  Thank you.

The last thing we all did was watch the jousting.  We were cheering for the black and white knight (I think he represented England) and it was a joust to the death!  We were totally into it.  We yelled and booed at the three knights we wanted to lose, and screamed and clapped for our knight.  He ended up being run through by two swords (bummer)—but at the end he lived again and came out of the gate galloping on his steed so it was all good!  Once the jousting was over we got to meet our knight and pet his horse.  I absolutely love horses.  I always have.  I love to ride them—trail riding or trotting or cantering, I love it all (and I’m a fairly good rider too, if I do say so myself!).  The horses these knights rode on were rescue horses, so I donated money to their cause. 

Also, I must share two of my favorite signs I saw: "Laundry Service: Drop Thy Britches Hither" and "Children Left Overnight Will Be Sold"  Hah!

So, moral of the story: Go to the Ren Faire!  It’s really fun, especially when you’re with a really awesome group of friends.

<3

Kiss kiss! Maybe he'll turn into a prince!